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Ok With Being "DONE"

There I sat as I packed newborn clothes neatly into a bin overcome with emotion. It was time to move on from all I have known over the past six years. These little clothes were headed to a friend who was starting the journey that I had abruptly just ended. However, it did not make the situation any easier. Yet here I sat sorting girls’ and boys’ clothes clinging to memories of each outfit. Yes, I say each because all three babies were so different. As I go through all the clothes, I set aside just a few that I am not ready to part with. In this moment my husband looks at me with a smirk, so I reply “yes I know, I am just not ready to admit we are done.”

We all go through seasons of life: high school to college, college to adulthood, single to married, newlyweds to parents. It seems we close each season up in memories, however this one is different. This season started at the end of my twenties and ended in my early thirties. I remember the day we found out we were expecting our first. I remember the day we discussed her being an only child. Only for a week later finding out we were pregnant again. Or the day they told us we were having our “boy” in the sea of all girls in the family. Then there was the day I broke the news about baby number three, a day that will go down in our family book forever. In that moment I knew it would be the last time I got to tell the love of my life we were expecting. Well unless God had other plans other than being “done.”

Three babies in six years is a lot for anyone. In that six years I had quit a job that I loved. In that six years we were unemployed for some time. In that six years we had sold and bought a house. In that six years we moved to a small town. In that six years we started a business. In that six years we had struggles, which could be a whole story. In that six years we had victories. In that six years I have never felt more like myself. In that six years we grew from a family of two to five. In that six years so many memories were made. In six years, this chapter was “done."

In this new season I am trusting in God’s wisdom to be “done.” Between my health and the health of carrying another baby it is time to say, “no more.” I am not yet ok with it. This past season I have really found my calling. Being a mother is no easy task especially when you are outnumbered. No matter how crazy each day is, or how much I want to pull my hair out. This is just a season as well. This is the new season that I will embrace and grow. Each day is a new day with three kids five and under, I am sure many moms can relate. But for now, I will embrace this new season. While still clinging onto a little bit of being “done” one outfit at a time.

Cheers to being “done!”

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